so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
