Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
