I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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