You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there's paper in my vomit.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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