Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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