i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
