Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
