I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My nipple is on Facebook.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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