Are we in a gay sports bar?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
