Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
