I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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