Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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