You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
