I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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