walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had to coat check the pizza.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
