I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
