i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize