Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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