Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
