I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
