She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
