guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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