Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
wow bdsm is so cute
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