Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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