Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
