Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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