you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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