Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
