nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
