I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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