My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
