Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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