toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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