I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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