You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
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God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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