Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
