Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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