Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
