I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
