sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
