I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
