Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
