I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
