to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
