My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize