I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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