I need to stop coming to work sober
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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