Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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