Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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