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Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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