Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.