I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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