I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
