R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
