No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
