I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
