6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nicole vs. Life
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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