She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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