I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
