is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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