I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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