We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
