Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Are we still banned from the library?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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