i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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