listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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