Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize