It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
