The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
