I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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