I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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