plz talk dirty to me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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