would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
