Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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